


there’s no me without you.

by obliviousIntelligence



Series: dream smp !! [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dream is a bitch, Dream is a dick, Emotional Manipulation, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Flashbacks, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Mild Blood, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, The Author Regrets Nothing, Whump, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, ahahah suffer, but i’m posting this nontheless, let the children rest, no beta we die like wilbur, the dreamsmp fandom is scary, the tags make it seem really scary but i promise it’s not that bad, this is completely platonic please don’t ship tubbo and tommy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obliviousIntelligence/pseuds/obliviousIntelligence
Summary: ★ Unfortunately, discontinued. ★In a flash, with the wind my hair, it finally shifts to darkness. I never wanted it to end like this, but this is my time to go. Nothing will change my mind.—Tommy jumps, but a miracle occurs.(Tubbo appears to be at the right place at the right time.)
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: dream smp !! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126814
Kudos: 117





	1. the air is thin up here.

**Author's Note:**

> woo!! dreamsmp shit :]
> 
> i’m mildly dyslexic so i apologise for the spelling errors 'n such!! (grgrgrgrgr i have no beta reader as well)
> 
> uh  
> nevertheless, i hope you enjoy!!

I, Tommyinnit, will never die. 

I found myself on top of a tall tower. A tower I had built myself. I built higher, higher, and higher. It was quiet. The air was thin. But it was alright. I’m not climbing back down. This was it, I’m  _ sure. _

_ Because, I, Tommyinnit, am never wrong.  _

I take a shaky breath. Typically, you’re told to never look down, how it increases your anxiety tremendously. 

_ You’re not supposed to fall. _

But, I, Tommyinnit, want to fall more than ever. 

I hear ringing, static. Voices.

They assure me I’ll be fine, I should fall. 

I believe they’re right.

_ Because, I, Tommyinnit, am never wrong.  _

They tell me I’m selfish.

I believe they’re right.

I  **_know_ ** they’re right.

Because

I, Tommyinnit,

am never wrong

One step forward, and I fall.

One.. more.. step. 

It’s so simple, Tommy, it’s so simple. Tommy. Are you afraid? Tommy, why are you afraid? Tommy you’re selfish. Everyone knows it.  _ He  _ even said it. Tommy- No one likes you, Tommy.  _ It’s well past time.  _

My eyes close as my breath hitches. It’s scary. It’s terrifyingly simple. 

It almost seems like eyes are growing from the stacks of cobblestone, everyone’s watching me fall.  **_Everybody wants me to fall._ **

_ Dream- Dream, he surely surely he doesn’t want me to fall. _

_ Dream is my only friend. I like Dream.  _

What? Dream is yearning for me to fall. 

_ So is everyone else.  _ Why can’t I see that? It’s so exceedingly simple, Tommy. Fall. That will be that.

So, I do. I take that step. In a flash, with the wind my hair, it finally shifts to darkness.

The egotistical Tommyinnit is finally  _ dead.  _

—

I, Tubbo, will never truly be in charge.

Never to be in charge of my country, my friends, or even  _ myself. _ It’s the reason we’re all in this situation.  _ I’m  _ the reason we’re all in the situation. 

_ I’m  _ the reason my best friend hates me. 

The sky was painted grey, with rain quickly pouring down. Rain stained bits of my blazer, but it was alright! I was going to see Tommy. In fact, I haven’t actually- seen him in quite a bit. I’m excited. Though, that didn’t stop the anxious shivers that went down my back. I  _ couldn’t help  _ but think something bad had happened. 

But- but, it’s alright. It’s paranoia. I take a deep breath and continue walking. 

Through the Nether portal, following the arrows. 

I go through the Nether portal and- Well.. This seems to be a bit odd. —More than a bit. What- What the hell is going on? I continue to walk.

_ Where’s Tommy? Where’s Tommy? Where’s Tommy? _

More explosions. 

_ Where’s Tommy? Where’s Tommy?  _ **_Where’s Tommy?_ **

“ _ What is this…?”  _

**Where’s Tommy? Where’s Tommy? Where’s Tommy?**

**“** **_Why is it all blown up?!”_ **

I look up. It’s a cobblestone pillar.

No. No. Surely not- Surely not.


	2. i’m right by your side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah!! another chapter !!  
> i didn’t expect to get so many hits,,,, woah,,,,, tysm ,,,,

I find that I’m taking damage. I don’t seem to care.

I don’t understand. I’m no longer excited, I’m petrified. I can’t move. I can’t _breathe_. I can’t stand, I’m falling- I’m falling.

I fall to my knees. 

_What shall we do now, Tubbo?_

“I don’t know, I-I don’t know. I..”

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy— I need you, Tommy. 

_We need to do something, Tubbo._

I’m not sure?! I don’t want to be in charge, I don’t want to, I don’t want to-

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy— Where are you, Tommy? I’m- I’m sorry, Tommy. I’m so sorry. 

I’m.. sorry. I clench the grass underneath me and scream. I scream. I scream until I lose my voice, I scream until my palms start to bleed, I scream until _someone,_ **_anyone,_ **can hear me. 

I dig my fingernails into my palms, it hurts. Everyone hurts. I look like shit, I feel like shit, I can’t- I can’t- 

I can’t even function, everyone- they’re looking at me. They’re looking at my pathetic mud-stained clothes, they’re looking at the blood on my hands, they’re looking at- looking at- 

You.

Tommy? 

You need to pull yourself together, Tubbo. I- I need to pull myself together.

I stumbled closer to the boy on his _deathbed._

I see his chest rise and fall. He’s alive.

I stumble and stumble, I’m practically crawling, but- it’s fine. It’s for Tommy. 

Tommy, he’s one who hates you. He doesn’t want to see you, Tubbo.

I _want— I want to see him._

That’s selfish- I’m selfish. I’m- the selfish one. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I, Tubbo, will never truly be in charge.

I look pathetic. There’s blood- mud, grass staining my clothes. I- I-

I, Tubbo, will never truly be in charge.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up-

—

“....T….my?”

“...T....ommy?”

I suppose it is right, _Tommyinnit will never die. No matter how egotistical I am._

“...Y-You’re.. being clingy.” Shit, that hurt to say. My ribs hurt, my lungs hurt, I- I can’t move? 

Fuck you ribs.

I attempt to get up. 

“Tommy don’t—”

Oh man, that was a horrible idea. I look down at my previously white shirt. It’s stained with blood.

Oh fuck.

“Tommy, uh- Don’t- Don’t worry. We’ll take care of this,” the other stammers out. Tubbo looks more terrified than I am. He’s worried. He’s worried ~~and it’s all my fault.~~

Fuck, snap out of it Tommy, you’re bleeding. 

_Wait._

My gaze shifts towards Tubbo. There’s something off. He hasn’t even touched me yet, but his hands are bleeding. 

“T-Tubbo are you oka-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wahhh!!!! thank you again for reading!!!!  
> i appreciate it so much!!!! /g


	3. c'est la vie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more angst, more suffering /hj :) ((look it’s dream))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading this !!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD /g

“I’m  _ fine,”  _ he replied sternly. I didn’t call him out on his obvious fibbing, my ribs- Well, my  _ everything  _ hurt. I couldn’t waste any more breath on speaking. Tubbo wrapped his jacket around my rib area, for makeshift bandages. His jacket was quite large on him, something that I’d typically make fun of, but it has proven itself as useful. I wince as I hastily get up. 

“Hey- take your time,” he adds. I reluctantly nod. I don’t want to agree with him this easily, it feels.. Very unnatural. We always bicker, or more recently, we argue. I’d prefer not to think about that when I may be fucking dying. I place my hand around my ribs, there is some amount of blood dripping from the top of my head. It causes some amount (to say the least) of dizziness. I stumble a bit before partially regaining my balance. 

I take a set forward and almost fall to my knees. I felt like crying, I think I  _ am crying.  _ Tubbo helps me up (but, he is hesitant. I suppose that’s reasonable. I don’t have time to analyse that anyway.) 

  
  


I nod again, as he smiles. It isn’t a happy one, nor forced. It’s bittersweet. My gaze shifts towards the ground as my arm wraps around Tubbo’s shoulder. I’m.. exhausted. My shoulders droop down, as my blinking becomes more frequent. 

—

“—eah, he’s been sleeping for awhile,” a voice murmurs. Unfortunately, I can’t make out who it is. I look down, I’m all wrapped up in bandages and everything feels so goddamn sore. I  _ wanted _ to speak, but I know that would hurt like hell. I slowly shifted into a better position and swiftly went back to sleep soon after. 

—

I sit anxiously beside Tommy, it’s been a few hours. We sit in a partially made house, it has 2 ½ walls and a dim campfire right in front.

“How did he… survive?” Phil asked. 

I know he meant no harm, but his words sent shivers down my spine. I was shaken up by the whole experience. I take a deep breath. “Water, probably. I think he fell in.” 

_ “Accidentally,”  _ I mutter.

Phil quirks his eyebrow. My gaze shifts to my shoes. In moments like these, silence tends to reside next to me. The judgemental sound of  _ silence. _

Tommy didn’t accidentally fall from the tower. He.. accidentally saved himself. 

_ What would have I done if he died? _

“I- I- can’t handle this,” I mutter. I pull my legs closer to my chest. I’m exhausted, but can’t sleep. 

_ What if Tommy wakes up while I’m sleeping..? What if Tommy needs help? What if something happens to the both of them? I can’t sleep, I won’t sleep. Something bad will happen. It always does. I know it- I know it-  _ **_I know it._ **

Phil hums, he’s looking down as well. I wonder what he’s thinking about. I hope it’s better than my paranoid thoughts. “Hm.. No one really  _ taught _ you how to handle this, yeah?” I nod, reluctantly. 

“Well,” he continues, “It’s perfectly reasonable to be unprepared.. I don’t think anyone would be when dealing with a situation like..  _ that.”  _

“C’est la vie. Such is life.” That’s… french. Huh. Phil chuckles a bit, before eating some of his baked potato.

“Where’d you learn that?” He shrugs. 

  
“You should sleep,” Phil adds. I shrug. I don’t really  _ want to.  _ Seeing how Tommy could wake up at any given time, seeing how literally anything could happen. But still, Phil tells me to sleep. As much as I don’t wanna take his advice, I do. Slowly, I start drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POGGERS THANK U FOR READ

**Author's Note:**

> a new chapter should come out soon !! :] i’m just fixing up some things.
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated!!  
> whhgdhdbd thank you so much for reading!!!


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